i haven't really updated in awhile, but there hasn't really been a whole lot going on. Just school and work. I took a mini mester between the spring and summer semesters and that went well and then I started summer school this morning. So back to my normal life again. Work is going very well and I'm really enjoying it. Yes the whole money thing is still not exciting, but my parents are great and gave me a little extra for the summer so I could still have money for fun. I ordered my Aggie Ring today and that was exciting! Now only 115 days till I get it. I had planned on making a trip to Houston tomorrow night to see MMC at Pub Fiction, but I got a call a few days ago from Django and he will be in town, so I'm going to stay in town and see him. I'm sad I will not get to see everyone in Houston, but hopefully I can come visit soon!! Other than that I don't have anything planned at all and I'm actually pretty excited about that. With my sister getting married in less than 2 months, I don't have a lot of weekends free so I am looking forward to relaxing a little. With that said...if anyone has any fun plans let me know, cause I'm sure I will be bored!

Alone...

So its kind of weird that in a sense I'm pretty much alone for the summer. Erica moved yesterday and well she was pretty much the only person I hung out with. Yesterday was the dance recital and my last official day to work there. A little sad but for the most part I was happy. Suzanne gave Erica and I both a "Forever in our Hearts" award. She usually gives it to her teachers that are graduating so it made sense for her to give it to Erica. I was definitley not expecting it....and since there are about 10 other teachers leaving that didn't get the award it made it that much harder. She had to fight back tears on stage and I did too. It was hard to say goodbye especially to my girls...some of them I had become really close to. Yes, they are still around and I can keep in touch, but its not the same as seeing them every day. I guess it hadn't really hit me that I was basically starting over again...a new job, new classes, trying to find new friends and trying to just figure everything out again. I'm almost scared. As much as I like living alone and as much as I like to be by myself at times, for the most part I like to be around people.

I have a year left here and part of me doesn't know what to do. I don't want my senior year of college to be like my senior year of high school. I don't want to regret not graduating early, I don't want to not have friends, I want to have some fun but I just don't know if I can. I'm still struggling with the whole middle ground of studying and going out. I either go out all the time or I don't. And what I think scares me the most is going back to the way things were. I get attached and become familiar with what I knew...and its so easy to go back so I stop. Then I miss it all and it happens again.

I think sometimes I try to think the best of the situation or a person. Instead of looking at what is really happening I try and find the good. In some ways that is good, but in other ways it sucks. I'm the one that gets hurt, I'm the one that gets to listen to him vent, and when it comes down to it she's getting everything. I don't want to lose friends and I think thats the hardest thing. There are so many people that I am no longer friends with that I use to spend all my time with. I'm okay with that but now it has just gotten to a point that I don't even attempt to make new friends because I figure at some point they are going to leave.

Just another one of those nights I guess...maybe things will better tomorrow.

"Sometimes when you are young you think nothing can hurt you, it’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans to find your perfect match, the one that completes you. But as you get older you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize how plans you made were simply plans. Because at the end when you are looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you are leaving something good behind, you want it all to have mattered."-- One Tree Hill

It was nice to somewhat have a break from school and work with the exception of a few hours last week however I'm glad to be back to a normal routine. I honestly don't think I got much accomplished last week while I was off but I needed that time to relax. The only problem is that I am not sleeping again. I have been getting maybe 3 hours of sleep a night and it is not fun. Hopefully being back on a schedule will help. I am taking water exercise in a may minimester for one of my pe classes. So far it doesn't seem too bad. Class in the morning and work in the afternoon! Still not sure on the whole graduating thing...hopefully I can figure it out soon. Its making me stressed.

I have an interview on thurday evening to be a part time nanny for 4 year old triplets. The mom is recently widowed and needs someone to come help her 3 hours in the evening. Who knows, it seemed fun, especially since the mom will be there. I mean I am very capable of babysitting but it would just be helping out with dinner and putting the kids to bed. It also works well with my schedule and any extra money at the moment will be nice. Still not sure how I'm going to make it on less than half of what I was use to making. However, my job is great and it is exactly what I needed. Something semi stress free and not have to run an entire buisness.

Oh and I'm sure most of you read about EYB's new CD coming out in September and that they signed with Universal South. I'm really excited for the new cd and I'm excited for the boys. Its a little bittersweeet I guess, but I guess it eventually had to happen. They aren't that "little" band anymore...and now that its official its kinda strange. No it really shouldn't matter, but it does. Someone told me and kayla about 3 years ago that we should have never gotten that close to a them or became friends because that someday it was gonna suck. Well as much as I wish that wasn't true, it is a little bit. Things have changed a lot over the past year or so and it really has been cool to see it all happen, but I really do miss seeing them all the time.

We’ll find ourselves caught up in memories
Thinkin’ back to the way things used to be
Our minds will never let us be alone
Holdin’ on to a piece of you and me
I know we can’t dwell on the past
But there’s nothing we regret, nothing we would ever take back, yeah…

Here’s to you, to all the things we held on to
Secrets that no one else knew
Here’s to you, the good and bad that we went through
It’s over now we know it’s true, so
Here’s to you yeah…

Whoop!!!!

I made an 88 on my Comm Theory final!!! I needed an 86 to make a C and not have to retake the class! I guess my studying all weekend payed off. I will know all my grades next week...but the other ones are borderline A's and B's! It is safe to say this has been my best semester at A&M! Oh and I'm officially a senior and can order my Aggie Ring! WHOOP!!!

Finally a weekend home to relax. I have a lot of studying to do, but I'm looking forward to hanging out and not doing much. This week has been kinda strange, with it being dead week and not really working, I've been all off schedule. Hopefully in a few weeks I can get back to a routine. Tuesday night I got to spend the afternoon with Heather and her precious dog Lola and I had so much fun. Then when Renee got off work we all went to The Woodlands to see Wade and eat dinner. It was a nice relaxed evening and honestly an acoustic show was exactly what I needed. I drove back to CS and got home pretty early and just went to bed. Wednesday I had to go to some training for my new job and I had thought about going to see Wade at Harry's, but I was tired and just stayed home and studied. Yesterday I didn't do much other than study, then Kayla, Devan, Melanie and I went to Huntsville to see No Justice and Brandon Rhyder. The show was fun and it was a nice break from studying. I had 1 final today that went well and 1 more Monday then I am done for the semester.

Now school...at the moment I am only going to be working about 12 hours a week. So if I don't do something else, I'm gonna be bored. So I looked online and figured out that graduating in December really wouldn't be that hard. So as of right now, I am registered for everything I need to be and I'm gonna go talk to my adviser next week and see if its really possible. I would be taking 2 hours in a mini mester, 7 hours summer 1, 6 hours summer 2, and 15 hours in the fall. Its not impossible, I just really don't know. With not working much I'm not going to have much money to roadtrip and stuff, so I'm thinking school would make me have to stay in CS more. And that will also hopefully keep me from going out as much. Finding that balance between going out and school has been my biggest problem, and maybe I just need to keep myself busy and not have the money so I just stay home. I'm gonna give it another week or so until I can really figure all of this out, but its crazy that I could actually graduate in 8 months.